Drunk

I am writing tonight quite drunker than I have been in the past while writing. Not quite as drunk as I was earlier this evening, but still enough to inhibit my typing skills. It has been an interesting experience. I have never had quite this much in one evening before. I think I made it through about 250 mL of tequila. It was easy to observe my progress as I was watching anime all the way through.

Once I reached the point where my eyes refused to focus on the subtitles, I knew I head reached a new threshold. That was also the point at which I decided to stop.

There are a number of reasons I did this to myself tonight. Work-related, gender dysphoria, plus the overall depression I deal with on a regular basis. I am made somewhat happier by the fact that I remained conscientious throughout the process. I reached a point where I knew I did not want to drink anymore. Then I stopped.

Those who know me will know I do not drink much. I did not drink at all until my mid-twenties, and even then only sparingly as my stomach has not had much tolerance for it. At some point, I discovered tequila. This has the combined effect of high alcohol content and not bothering my stomach in the least.

Fortunately, I discovered it at a time in my life when I was more responsible. Although this is definitely as drunk as I have ever been, it is taking place in my own house, with minimal regrettable decisions available to occur as a result. In this case, the worst result is that my writing is entirely unproductive, which is hardly a novel result.

I actually forgot to keep track of how much time I’ve been writing this. I have certainly made more than my usual share of typos and retractions. It does seem to be about the correct length, though, so now is the time to stop. I am hoping tomorrow I will be more stable. We’ll see.

 

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