On the Theology of Hacksaws

“And this is why God invented hacksaws,” I said.

“Really?” Jonie asked. “For this exact situation?”

“Yep,” I replied, continuing to grind away at the chains at her ankles. “And He said, ‘There will be a time when a woman dangles upside-down above a hole in the void, imprisoned by iron and fated to death. And that time there shall be a device. A mighty blade by which she may be freed.’” The statement was well-punctuated by another chain dropping into said hole-in-the-void. It made a rather distressing slurping sound as it did so.

Jonie wriggled, trying to spin herself to give me better leverage. It wasn’t helping much. I reached out my free hand to grab her and hold her still. Not sure exactly where, but she squeaked. “Hey, now!”

“Focusing!” I said. Another chain dropped away. Now came the tricky part. There was only the one chain left. Unfortunately, it was the one still holding her up. “Did you see where this thing is attached?”

“Sorry,” Jodie replied. She licked her lips. Almost like she was nervous about something. “I was slightly distracted when they were hauling me up.”

“Fair enough,” I said. I gazed up into the smoke and clouds eddying slowly around the void-mouth. The chain had to be attached somewhere, right? “It’s just I’m not sure this platform can hold both of us. Seems rickety.” A brief gust caused my foothold to sway, as it trying to help make my point.

“Something maybe worth having thought of before?” Jodie said. Geez. See how much attitude I give her next time she rescues me.

“Well, chain looks sturdy enough, anyway,” I said. I tossed the hacksaw into my satchel and leapt to catch the chain just above her head. We swayed wildly for several moments as I steadied my grip and began my ascent. “I’ll let you know what I find.”