So everything is a drag. I am short on energy, willpower, emotional stability… just about every intangible. I can’t seem to recover more than the minimum needed to get through the next work day. Even the weekends don’t help.
The writing is dragging, too. It has on multiple occasions in the past, in brief bits, but now it just feels more and more like another burden on top of the rest. I really don’t know if it’s accomplishing its purpose right now.
I’m suppose to love this. Enjoy it as a creative outlet. Instead it just feels like another chore, like brushing my teeth before I go to bed. Maybe my creativity is just spent for now and I need to wait for it to recharge. Or spend my limited resources on something that will help it recharge.
Willpower is a very limited resource for me. I use most of it getting through the work day. The rest performing the bare minimum functions of life. Eating, washing, cleaning and… well, that’s about it. The rest of the time is spent doing whatever I feel like, which is usually just watching something or playing some mindless game.
I really wanted to hold out for a year. That would be an accomplishment, of sorts. I don’t know if I can.