Tears

There’s nothing left for it but the tears.

Twenty years we had together. Twenty long, good years. So many adventures. So many dreams fulfilled.

Were there regrets? Certainly. You can’t really have a life if you don’t regret some things. You take risks, you make bad choices. We fought sometimes. We hurt each other. But in the end, we stayed together, stronger than ever.

I sat on the hill behind our house watching the first stars appear above the treeline. It was a new moon, or close to it, and we had long ago moved out to the country where you could see every light being born. We had spent so many nights out here, eating, talking, kissing… it was our favorite place in the world. I never told anyone else about it, though. It was ours. Had been ours.

The guests had all gone home, now, and I came out here, of course. Sympathies had been expressed, gifts had been given. I was surrounded by love. The service has been as beautiful as a thing of mourning could be.

Now I was glad to be alone. I had talked about her, everything we’d shared. All the stories we’d spent so much of our lives collecting. Now was the time for the things that couldn’t be expressed in words. The loss, the emptiness, the hollow feeling of moving forward in a life without her.

I would survive. I would move forward. Eventually. For now, though, the stars blur in my vision.

There are still be many more tears to come.

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